As many of you know, my wife Bevelyn fought cancer for more a decade. During her lifetime, I had always hoped that she would overcome her humility and write a book on how she handled the most difficult situations with courage, optimism, and grace. My tribute to her starts with her story:
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Bevelyn was a happily married woman with a bright future ahead. Her husband Brian Spears was a brilliant man with extraordinary musical talent who was able to balance his creative energies with a successful corporate career. He inspired those around him with his passion for life, love, and music. When Brian found Bevelyn, he truly found his soul mate. In listening to friends talk about the two of them together, one would conclude that Bevelyn and Brian set the standard to which all relationships should aspire.
In early 1995, suddenly and tragically, the bad news came. Brian was diagnosed with a fatal type of brain cancer, and was given just a few months to live. In the weeks that followed, Bevelyn discovered that she was pregnant with their son, and they dedicated their energies fully towards survival, so Brian could hold his child. Sadly, that day never came. That August, Brian passed away... 10 days before Luke was born.
Five years later, Bevelyn would find herself with a kindergartener and a fiancée – me. I became a part of their lives when Luke was 16 months old. After dating for nearly four years, we were married on December 23, 2000.
It would only be two months before bad news came yet again. This time, Bevelyn was diagnosed with breast cancer; the same week we found out she was pregnant! After two surgeries, Bevelyn underwent a summer of chemotherapy (yes, while pregnant). In November of 2001, God blessed us with Sabrina. After a series of radiation therapies, her treatment was complete.
Three years later, in the spring of 2004, we were shocked to discover that the breast cancer had returned, with a recurrence in her bones. The cancer eventually spread into her liver, and she passed away three years later, on March 31, 2007.
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I must admit that I’ve never known how to reply when someone told me, even with the greatest sincerity: “well…God wouldn’t give you any burden that you can’t handle”. My dear wife, however, responded with a quote from Mother Theresa: “I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”
That always makes me smile.
What makes Bevelyn my hero or, better yet, OUR hero, is not a summation of all the burdens she had to bear. Rather, it is the manner in which she handled them, the positive attitude she exuded, the self-less level of dignity and respect she provided to others who suffered, and her sense of responsibility to do and say the right thing, even in the most difficult of circumstances. Bevelyn dids not seek to be recognized, which is the very reason she deserves it.
We can learn a very important lesson from our hero: get busy living. You shouldn’t do it alone, and you can’t do it without love and a sense of hope in your life.
Thank you, Bevelyn, for your courage, strength, wisdom, patience, grace, beautiful smile, and your incredible sense of hope.
This world is a richer place because of you.
I love you forever
You are my hero
